“He told me I was ugly” – Melissa’s Story

Today’s blogpost is an interview with one of my good friends Melissa. I met Melissa in 2014 in Albania when we were both on a Mission Trip and we remained friends from there. We’ve travelled to Thailand together and I’ve seen Melissa overcame challenges such as a jungle trek in the pouring rain and climbing a rocky mountain in sandals and I’ve seen her grow in strength and confidence. Melissa was bullied during secondary school and this has had a big impact on her self-confidence and life in general. Hearing Melissa tell me her story saddened me because it’s simply not fair that she had to go through this but I’m glad and proud that she has taken the opportunity to talk about it so that she can inspire others.

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“I believe that God loves beauty” – An Interview with Shade

Meet Shade; a doctor working in obstetrics and gynaecology. In her spare time she enjoys reading, music and keeping fit. Shade is also a passionate writer and has an amazing blog over at www.girlwiththafro.com. Her style of writing is hilarious and she discusses great topics. I caught up with Shade to talk about confidence, beauty and what it means to her.


How do you define confidence?

Having knowledge of your worth and knowledge of your potential to be great at things. For me, confidence is having a security and an unmovable assurance about who you are and what makes you special despite what the world around you says.

Would you describe yourself as a confident person? Has it always been this way?

Yes, I am a confident person. I think confidence is a journey and everyone has suffered with low confidence at some point. As humans we have so many things pulling and pushing at us at once, so it’s natural for us to have fluctuating confidence. I do think there is a certain level that I have reached and I am really grateful but it was a journey for me to get to this point. Five years ago I wouldn’t have said I was this confident.

What were you like as a teenager?

I always felt like I was the “ugly friend!” I think as black women a lot of our insecurities around our looks come from things like our hair and our skin tone. I grew up in a group of friends who were mostly light-skinned with long hair and I was the dark-skinned one with short hair. Guys didn’t give me a lot of attention and I always felt like I wasn’t the pretty one. The only thing I was confident about was my intelligence because I had always been told that I was smart, so I took that on as my identity. I was the nerdy awkward smart girl and I pretended that I didn’t care that I wasn’t seen as the pretty one. It took me ages to even look at myself and see myself as pretty because I had always felt ugly. I would be really surprised when guys gave me attention. I didn’t like my face and I wished I could fix it – I hated my jaw line, my nose and other things.

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“You are Worth the Investment,” – An Interview with Ashleigh

Meet Ashleigh Taylor-Greaves, a 21-year old Pastoral Theology Masters student, a Youth Worker and a Tutor. I took some time to talk to her about her experiences relating to self confidence, body image and what makes her feel beautiful.


What were you like as a teenager?

When I was 14 I didn’t really know who I was; I wanted to stand out a bit but I also wanted to blend in. I was a bit chubby and I didn’t really consider myself to be pretty or anything special.

By the age of 18 I was more confident but for all the wrong reasons. My confidence came from the fact that I knew people would look at me if I dressed a certain way. I knew that if my outfit looked good or if I tried a new hairstyle I would be admired and so my confidence was not from anything internal such as my intelligence but simply from the fact that I knew how to present myself. View Post

“Confidence should not be conditional” – An interview with Lauren Wright

I interviewed the beautiful Lauren Wright to discuss her experiences with braces, judging others and insecurities. Lauren is a 18 year old Londoner who loves nature, languages and arts and crafts. Read on to find out her story. 


Hayley: What do you see confidence as?

Lauren: I see confidence as being comfortable with who God created you to be and being comfortable in encouraging others to be who they are. A lot of the time people seem to have a false sense of confidence; they actually seem confident but behind the curtain they are very shy.

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