Meet Shade; a doctor working in obstetrics and gynaecology. In her spare time she enjoys reading, music and keeping fit. Shade is also a passionate writer and has an amazing blog over at www.girlwiththafro.com. Her style of writing is hilarious and she discusses great topics. I caught up with Shade to talk about confidence, beauty and what it means to her.
How do you define confidence?
Having knowledge of your worth and knowledge of your potential to be great at things. For me, confidence is having a security and an unmovable assurance about who you are and what makes you special despite what the world around you says.
Would you describe yourself as a confident person? Has it always been this way?
Yes, I am a confident person. I think confidence is a journey and everyone has suffered with low confidence at some point. As humans we have so many things pulling and pushing at us at once, so it’s natural for us to have fluctuating confidence. I do think there is a certain level that I have reached and I am really grateful but it was a journey for me to get to this point. Five years ago I wouldn’t have said I was this confident.
What were you like as a teenager?
I always felt like I was the “ugly friend!” I think as black women a lot of our insecurities around our looks come from things like our hair and our skin tone. I grew up in a group of friends who were mostly light-skinned with long hair and I was the dark-skinned one with short hair. Guys didn’t give me a lot of attention and I always felt like I wasn’t the pretty one. The only thing I was confident about was my intelligence because I had always been told that I was smart, so I took that on as my identity. I was the nerdy awkward smart girl and I pretended that I didn’t care that I wasn’t seen as the pretty one. It took me ages to even look at myself and see myself as pretty because I had always felt ugly. I would be really surprised when guys gave me attention. I didn’t like my face and I wished I could fix it – I hated my jaw line, my nose and other things.